Portals

Church

Acrylic on Canvas

40” x 30”

“Church” started off as an image I took at a concert where I saw so many different layers of lights and lasers and when the main light was shining on stage, you could see the fog more prominently. I was in awe in how simple this is but that light shining with the fog made me think of clouds, or mountain ranges. The sounds of one of my favorite artists, Tame Impala was echoing in my head as I looked at the rolling clouds inside this light beam. I wanted to replicate that feeling into my painting, clouds or fog throughout but it’s only really be seen in the light.

HayuMarca

“Hayu Marca” is a wooden board that I cut out into the shape of the mysterious HayuMarca door located Peru. The actual engraving has a small round indent in the middle almost as if to insert a small disk into it. Legend says there was a special metal disk one would insert in there to open the door. After making these two initial paintings I was absolutely stuck. What else or how else can I interpret ‘portal’ and what does it mean to me? For a while I started to re-think why I chose this subject in the first place. If I chose something else, where would my paintings be? Even my close friends told me that my new pieces were uncharacteristic of me. I started to continuously dwell on these factors.

The Decision

“The Decision”

Acrylic on Canvas

60” x 60” each

I made the decision to make these two pieces after trying to rattle my brain on how to conclude my thesis. I as really starting to question myself on why I even went down this road to begin with. I wanted to highlight that a portal could be a decision, leading you into a new reality, or maybe it was a door that you go into that takes you elsewhere. I started thinking about birth, and death, and that mysterious ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. What was it that you really see when you die? Is it really a light? Should you go through it, or not? Was this tunnel leading to an end, or a new beginning? I started to contemplate all these things and what it could mean. Part of me didn’t want to see it so negatively, what if the light at the end of the tunnel is what you see right before you’re reborn again? What if you had the decision to go towards a light? What’s in that void before going in? I decided I wanted to take on this modern idea often seen in pop culture of this ‘blue pill, red pill’ decision. These two paintings could only live together and next to each other. I want the viewer to stand in between them and contemplate the importance of decision-making and creating a new reality. The blue light will be pointing towards the upper left hand side of the canvas, while the red light will be towards the upper right hand side of the canvas, both surrounded by the black-ness of the void. You/They have reached a crossroad in life. Which one will you take? Which one are you more inclined to walk towards? This encapsulates my whole thinking throughout the semester…what a portal actually is, or perhaps a sort of portal. It could be as simple as coming to a crossroads and making a decision that may (or may not be) crucial to how the rest of your path is paved. This is something I consistently ponder on.

I’d been attempting to visually conceptualize what a portal means to me. A portal is defined as ‘a doorway, gate, or other entrance, especially a large and imposing one.’ But can’t a portal be something as simple as a decision? What about a new beginning? What about death? Birth? Can a portal be defined as door to get to a place where you go to meet the ‘gods’?
Native peoples thought you could get to this other world using doors and gateways. Ancient Peruvian legend speaks of a door that is located near Lake Titicaca. This door is said will one day open and welcome the creator gods and all will be in awe. In nearby mountainous region of Hayu Brand, the mysterious “Gate of the Gods” has been found. This gate was discovered by a local tour guide who claimed that when he first saw the structure, he realized that he’s been dreaming about it long before seeing it in person. The original structure stands at 6 feet and has a small indent in the stone right in the middle, where stories say a metallic disk, almost like a ‘key’, was inserted into it to activate the door.
I wanted my work to be a visual study of what I thought a portal looked like or what it could look like.
My own life can be used as an example of how one decision shaped the road that I am on now. One day I went snowboard with a few friends that I wasn’t very close to, some I didn’t even know. I was 18 and looking for a possible new job that could give me more money and hours. When we were done with the day and snowboarding we were all talking and the conversation of where we all work came up and this girl that I didn’t know told me about her job at a catering hall that’s very fun and gives a lot of hours and pays a lot and she told me to apply that everyone that applies gets hired. Lo and behold, a couple of weeks passed with the thought in my head and I went to go apply and I got the job! If I hadn’t gotten that job, I wouldn’t have met my current partner now, who wouldn’t have encouraged me to go back to school (Queens College) and by extension, I wouldn’t have done any of the things that Queens College has given me the opportunity to do, such as teach in Vietnam and volunteer in Puerto Rico. But this always gets me to thinking, what if I didn’t go snowboarding that day with some random people? Or what if I just let the thought sit in my head and didn’t take the other job? Where is that version of myself? Do all the different paths lead the same way or would that other version of me be somewhere else?